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*Before my subscription runs out, I wanted to make a commemorative journal*

It feels strange really. I have absolutely no relatives whatsoever that were on the titanic, or that know of the news of its sinking, when it happened 100 years ago today. (that I know off).

the only relation I have  to this event, miniscule that it is, is having watched the movie when it came out. I remember being barely 10-11 or close to it, when the movie came out fifteen years ago.  (funny really, as the rating WAS pg-13 i can't even remember how I managed to get to go and see it)

and even more of a coincidence, it was my mother's idea to go catch a showing of the movie at the cinema, completely oblivious to the significance of the date till we got there.

and sitting there, in the darkness of the movie theater as the still familiar sound of vocals and bagpipes of the opening theme started to play, and images started to play out on the screen, the whirlipool of emotions started to play out. It was like I was in several places at once. Tears at seeing all those people of different classes, backgrounds, ethnicities all aboard "the ship of dreams" that one knew THAT day 100 years ago, would sink dragging so many of them to eternal sleep- not seeing their families again. All those lives with dreams and hopes and plans, cut short by a series of little mistakes that, while they flew over my head at 10, were all too clear now of its implications.

and yet I couldn't help but feel empathy for those people, their lives given a fictionous twist in James Cameron movie, and the tragedy given that much more of an impact on this date today.

At the same time, my mind is also with my younger self, the 10-11 year old me, and the fragmented memories of watching the movie the first time, feeling in love with characters I did not not took enough attention the first time (Jack's Friends, Mr. Andrews, some of the crew) the old ones (Jack, Rose- oh how my heart flew and ached at seeing your doomed love story again, Now that I am old enough to have experience love both at high and love- and seeing them achieve it and lose it in such a tragic way)

seeing women,children, men accept their fate as water suck their life away (the old couple, the mother with her children- it broke my heart watching it then- and it did so now)

remembering the class struggle- Rose Mother's bargaining of her daughter in marriage to the selfish- self centered and sexist Cal- became all the more poignant knowing that dark sides of the world as a young adult, than when you're a kid and it feels like just a movie and you dont understand the implications of half of what's going on behind the curtains.

the tragedy remains all the more horrible, all the more painful- all the more influential on the world today- both on its reality and on the masterpiece of a movie- because however vague my memories of the movie were, they did not diminished how grandeu and spectacular it was in every way.


To everyone involved, both in real life- those who lived and died- those who survived. and everyone who was part of the movie- that pushed the remembrance of this tragedy in the collective consciousness of the culture

this day in history.

It is not my intention to offend anyone, and I hope it does not come across that way for it is not my intention at all, if this is part of anyone's personal history- i swear it is not my intention to tarnish it.


but, if you fill willing to share, wether it's your personal experience with the tragedy- or how the movie made a mark on you 15 years ago- please share if you want. for i would love to listen to it.

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